Love Woman and the Quran

“(Follow) the nature on which God created the people” (Quran, 30:30)

Islam is the religion of nature. It confirms what is natural and rejects unnatural. Islam draws the parameters, which ensures the healthy growth of the human personality.

Love, indeed, is the most conspicuous, rather the theme of human life. It is love which makes life livable and pleasant; it sweetens its bitterness, mitigates its pains; makes hell, a heaven and without it a heaven becomes a hell.

Nature cannot deny love, nor does Islam. Islam acknowledges love as a natural exigency. Some religions taught celibacy to get higher status in the eyes of God. Whereas Quran says that Allah calls this attraction between the opposite sexes a sign of His artistic creation:

“ And among His signs is this that He created for you wives from among yourselves, that you may find repose in them and He has put between you  affection and mercy.” (30.21)

And one step further, Quran depicts the love of woman in man’s heart the foremost in the line of the objects of charm and favour:

“Fair in the eyes of men is the love of things they covet: of women and of children and hoarded heaps of gold and silver, well-bred horses, and tilled land and cattle.”(3:14)

In the coming passages, we will see what guidance we can extract from the holy Quran about love, particularly, of women’s love for man, in its two forms: Love and Lust. We will see what true love is; how it is expressed in a decent way; how love becomes lust and how lust turns into love.

 The part of the story of the Moses which tells of his arrival at Median, after his escape from arrest by the Egyptian police for the murder of an Egyptian, though unintentionally by him, is the manifestation of the true and decent love of a woman for a man.

The Holy Quran narrates:

“So he (Moses) left the city, afraid, apprehensive, (and) prayed, “O, lord deliver me from these wicked people.” Then he turned his face to Midian, he said: “maybe my Lord will show me the right way,” and when he came to waters of Midian he found a crowd of people watering (their flocks), and saw two maidens holding back (their cattle). He asked (the maidens): “what is the trouble with you?” they said: “we cannot water our flock till the shepherds have driven away theirs, and our father is a very old man.” So he watered (their flocks), and moved into the shade and prayed “My Lord, I have need of whatever good you send me.”    (28:21)

Moses’ prayer came true. The girls told the whole story to their father. The father wished to welcome such a good fellow. He sent one of his daughters to bring him to the home. The Quran tells the story:

“Then one of the (maidens) came to him and walking bashfully, and said:” my father invites you that he may repay you for having watered our flock.”

The tradition says that on their way to home, Moses asked the girl to walk behind him so that he could avoid his gaze falling on the girl.

Moses told his story to the old man. The old man assured him of safety and shelter. Is was quite possible that Moses might forward his journey to some indefinite  destination after enjoying the hospitality of the grateful old man of Median, then, it so happens that apparently, a very small thing changes the whole course. The girl asked her father:

“O father, employ him. Surly, the best (man) to employ is one who is strong and honest.” 

She must have impressed by the strong and the honest Moses, and why not? He was a real man. He helped the girls out in need and hurled out the huge bucket single handedly from the well, which many men hurled out together, and watered the girls’ goats. He had asked the girl to walk behind him for the sake of modesty. All this must have had strong impression on her. In addition, Moses would be very handsome. Quran says that the stone-hearted Pharaoh, who, at first, wanted to kill the infant Moses, altered his mind after watching his pretty face:

“But I cast love over you (Moses) from me.”(20:39)

The girl could find no vulgar or indecent way, below her dignity, to express her feelings for Moses. All she could say was only to her farther.

What she chose Moses for? Not for wealth or status, he had none. She chose him for sublimity of his character.

Now we see the father’s reaction. No sooner did he sense the heat of love in his daughter’s heart for Moses than he declared the prospects of her Nikah with Moses:

“He said: ““I would like to marry one of these two daughters of mine to you if you agree to work for me on hire for eight years. And if you stay on for ten, it is up to you. I do not wish to impose any hardship on you”” (Moses) said:” This is (agreed) between you and me. Whichever term I fulfill, no injustice will be done to me. God is witness to our agreement.”

 The old man maintained a dignified position by not nominating that girl specifically:

“One of these two daughters of mine.”

He satisfied his daughter on one hand, and on the other, he put the condition on Moses of spending eight or ten years there, so that, he  could have enough time to supervise and train the young man who was going to be his son in law, to ensure the future of her daughter in the pious and trustworthy hands. One can see that no aspect of human nature and decorum of social norms were ignored.

If love is painted something like sin or an indecency in itself, it will generate negative emotions in the person who suffers from love. One becomes guilty to God and conscience. One’s personality splits: either one leads a life of agony or rebels against the religion and the society.

The story of Moses and girl also tells what qualities of opposite gender strike the strings of heart and create the real music of love. A man should be manly. He should lower his gaze when confront a woman.

Such a man is honest and trustworthy in the eyes of a woman. In short a man should be “Strong and honest”.

Now, lend attention to the words:  “Walking bashfully”

Quran never uses superfluous words. To mention the gait of a woman contains meaningful implications. Gait is the mirror of personality, an indicator of character. An immodest woman needs no advertisement, but erotic gait to show her characterless character. And a modest woman is, at first, recognized by her modest gait.To man, modesty in woman is the foremost feature which knocks at his heart to open a window to welcome the breeze of love. Every man by nature is intolerant of immodesty in his woman, whether he is of East or West. Modesty regulates the otherwise uncontrollable passion of love. In its parameters love can find only decent ways to get expressed.

The second versions of love i.e. the show of lust and defiance of modesty is told in the story of Joseph and the woman of Egypt.

Joseph was brought up in the palace of the Egyptian governor. He grew up extremely beautiful. The governor’s wife lost her heart to him. But her love was yet earthly. She just wanted to have sex with him. The Quran tells the story:

“But she in whose house he was, sought to seduce him from his self: she closed the doors, and said:” now come into me!” He said:” Allah forbid! Truly (your husband) is my lord! He made my sojourn agreeable! Truly to no good come those who do wrong!” and with passion did she desired him and he would have desired her, but that he saw the evidence of his Lord: thus (did we order) that We might turn away from him evil and shameful deeds: for he was one of Our servants, sincere and purified.”(12:23, 24)

With the woman in her mad passion the situation became intolerable and Joseph made for the door:

“So they both raced each other to the door, and she tore his shirt from the back: they both found her lord (the woman’s husband) near the door. She said: “what is the (fitting) punishment for one who found an evil design against your wife, but prison or grievous chastisement.” He (Joseph) said: “it was she who sought to seduce me from my self”. And one of her household saw (this) and bore witness, (thus): “if it be that his shirt is rent from the front, Sthen is her tale true and he is liar! But if it be that his shirt is torn from the back, and then is she liar and he is telling the truth!” (12:25, 26, 27)

Joseph was proved innocent. 

The affair leaked out and became a hot gossip among the ladies of the royal families. The woman invited the women of the royal house and:

“She prepared a banquet for them: she gave them a knife; and she said to the Joseph “come out before them.” When they saw him they extol him, and (in their amazement) cut their hands: they said “Allah preserve us! No mortal is he! This is none other than a noble angel. She said “there before you is the man about whom you did blame me! I did seek to seduce him from his self but he did firmly save himself guiltless! And now, if he does not my bidding, he shall certainly be cast into prison, and (what is more) be in the company of the vilest! (12:31, 32) 

But Joseph reacted:

“O, my Lord! The prison is more to my liking than that which they invite me:” (12:33)

He was sent to prison to save the name of royal house. Joseph spent several years in prison.

Then the king of Egypt had a dream. Joseph interpreted the dream for him. He was pleased. He sent him for. But Joseph refused to come out unless an investigation into case was held. The king held the investigation. All the women involved confessed that he was innocent:

“Allah preserve us! No evil know we against him!”(12:51)

The wife of the governor, on her part, must have become guilty to her own conscience for putting her beloved behind the bar for his insistence to keep himself innocent; and also the nobility of his character must have left strong impression on her thoughts. She must have spent same years in the prison of her conscience as did Joseph in the prison. She must have led the same years in agony of guilt as Joseph did in the grief in the darkness of the prison. This languish might have helped her lust to grow into love. Now, she could see beyond her ego. She declared publicly in the court unhesitantly, unreservedly:

“Now is the truth manifest (to all): it was I who sought to seduce him from his self: he is indeed of those who are (ever) true.”(12:51)

If our elders follow the example of the wise old man of Median, allow lawful outlet to their emotions and our youth had confidence in them that their voice will be listened to with sympathetic heart and their elders would pave the way for their lawful choice for life partner, instead of making it unnecessararily a matter of their ego and prestige, what would the young people waste their lives for, by committing suicide, making themselves prey to narcotics, leading a life of painful reverie or living a life of compromise?

The youth must distinguish lust from love. Lust is not love; it is mere an animal instinct, a pleasure which ends in greater displeasure. If Joseph had yield to the lust he would have in greater prison of conscious and greater agony of guilt and remorse than the pains of the prison he was in, with a satisfied conscience.
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